Blonde and BingoFULL

Kate was playing bingo, and had taken her blond friend, Janet, with her.  After a while, every time a number was called, Janet would look over Kate’s shoulder, and if Kate had the number on her bingo card, Janet would tell her to mark if off.

After a number of repetitions, Kate was very annoyed.  She asked Janet:  “Why are you looking at my card the whole time?  Why don’t you play your own card?”

Janet, sounding frustrated, replied:  “I can’t – it’s full!”

Bingo Balls

Patient:  Doctor, I woke up this morning, and all I can see are bingo balls in front of my eyes.

Doctor:  Well, have you seen an optometrist?

Patient:  Umm, no – just the bingo balls!

Choices

A husband and wife had been arguing recently about how much time the husband spends at bingo.

Wife:  Okay, dear.  It is time to decide.  Is it me, or is it bingo – make your choice!

Husband:  (After thinking for a very short time.)  I’m going to miss you, darling!

How You Play the Game!!

You should know, that whoever sits in a bingo hall and tells all their fellow players that “It’s not whether you win or lose that counts, but how you play the game”, probably LOST!

Air Force Bingo

Question:  In bingo, what is the favorite number for Air Force pilots?

Answer:  The favorite number for Air Force pilots is… B-52

Knock Knock

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bingo!
Bingo who?
Bingo-ing to visit other friends and now I’m visiting you.

I Always Win!

Two friends, Milly and Mary went to play bingo machines together at their local Bingo Hall.  They agreed before beginning to play that whoever finished first would go and wait in the lounge area after she had lost all the money she’d set aside to play with that evening.  Milly lost her alloted money very quickly, and as agreed, went to sit in the lounge and waited for Mary.  She began by waiting patiently, and then after waiting and waiting and waiting, she was starting to get a bit agitated.  Surely Mary couldn’t still be playing!  Finally, she sees Mary walking towards her with a very large bag of coins.  Milly is somewhat taken aback.  Mary asks her how she did, and she tells her “Well, you can see I’m sitting here waiting for you… how well could I have done?  But it looks like you have done very well, and hit the jackpot or something!”  “Yes”, Mary agreed, “I found the most amazing gaming machine!  It’s right in the back of the hall.  It’s incredible – you can’t lose!  Every time you put in a dollar, four quarters come out!”

On Bingo Addiction

Doctor:  Mr Jones, I think you’re addicted to bingo.  Perhaps you should only play some days of the week.

Mr Jones:  Okay, Doctor.  From now on, I’ll only play games on days of the week that end in a Y.

Question:  How do you get a refined Southern belle to say the f-word?
Answer:  Get another refined Southern belle to shout out “bingo!”

Knock Knock

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bee-Eye
Bee Eye who?
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-O!

Bingo Callers Also Change Light Bulbs

Question:  How many bingo callers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:  One, on his own, just the one!

Rats Play Bingo Too!

Question:  What do rats say then they begin to play a game of bingo?
Answer:  Eyes down for a full mouse!

Checking Your Balance

An old lady was playing bingo and she ran out of money to buy a new bingo card.  She decided to give it up for the evening and go home.  She left the bingo hall, and very nearby, she saw an ATM.  Excited at the prospect of continuing play, and not having to go home early, she decided to make a cash withdrawal.  Not having used an ATM in quite a while, and finding it a little difficult to see at night, she asked a young man to help her check her balance – so he pushed her over!

Blondes and Bingo

The All Blonde Bingo Hall was having a ladies only night.  You had to be blonde to get in.  The caller was doing his thing, but the night had been very boring, and was beginning to draw to a close.  Not one of the ladies had said Bingo all night!  There was a large bingo prize in the pot, just waiting to be won.

It was finally the last game of the evening, and the game, as the others had, dragged on and on and on.  Nearly every blond had to be getting ready for the big blackout.  Finally, the caller, quite excitedly, after the rather dreary evening, calls the last number.  The silence in the hall was too much for him.  There were no shouts of “Bingo!”, and there were no more numbers to call!

The caller, who couldn’t stand it any longer, threw the bingo machine off the stage, and looked around the room at the stunned ladies.  In a somewhat uncontrolled voice, he shouts to them that all ninety numbers have already been called, and that nobody has yet called a bingo.  He asks “Please, ladies, tell me, what are you waiting for?”  In unison, the response from all four hundred blondes is “FREE SPACE!”

Old Man Scores at Bingo!

An old man, Solly, and three old women – Mabel, Beverly and Gertrude, were sitting together at the table in the bingo hall.  After a number of games, the old man, who had not won a game for some years, got a bingo and leapt up excitedly.  After some jumping up and down, Solly’s pants fell down, and exposed him to the surprised ladies.  Beverly and Gertrude each had a stroke, but Mabel couldn’t reach!

Trivia Question

Question:  What has a whole lot of little balls and screws old ladies all the time?

Answer:  A bingo machine!

Will This be Cash or Credit?

The other night, some of my close friends and I went to a specially arranged women’s night at the local Bingo Club.  Seeing as it was an all women event, they put on some male dancers for us.

We’d never been to an evening like this, and one of my friends, wanting to impress the rest of us pulled out a $10 note.  When the male dancer came closer to us, she waved him over and he danced right in front of her.  My friend licked the $10 note, and very smoothly stuck it onto the dancer’s butt cheek!

My second friend, who did not want to be outdone, after the dancer had danced over to another table, called the dancer back, removed a $20 note from her wallet, and quickly licked it and stuck it onto the dancer’s other butt-cheek!

My third friend, who also really wanted to impress us, and the rest of the cheering crowd, pulled out a $50 note, also called the male dancer back to us while he was dancing in front of another table, and licked the $50 note.  At this stage, I was worried about where she was going to put it, but thankfully, she simply stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.

The dancer danced away from our table, and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I had been so worried he would dance over to me too!  It seems, however, that he realized that he was doing very well at our table, and my relief was very short-lived.  He gyrated his way back to our table and danced directly in front of me!!!

Not being sure what to do… and not wanting to give in to the dancer, who was egging me on to top the $50, I put my brain into high gear – I had to figure something out!!  And quickly!

The whole hall focused on me… and the woman in me took over!  I too out my ATM card, swiped it down his butt crack, made a withdrawal, and grabbed the eighty dollars!

Online bingo sites are swinging for the fences right now with some of their bingo promotions. They are looking to attract bingo players that have that zest for gambling, but don’t have the money to head out to the casinos right now. With the global economy taking a bit of a hit, the bingo sites have the opportunity right now to gain some players if they are smart. This is why bingo promotions seem to be popping up each and every week. What are the biggest and best bingo promotions that you will find right now? Here are only a few of the many.

The best bingo promotions that I have seen online are the ones that give you money with no strings attached. One of the major problems with bingo promotions is that generally, you have to spend your time playing a certain amount of cards before you can ever see that money. Some bingo halls give you the money incrementally, based on how much you deposit. Sure, it’s nice to get free money, but what good is that money if you don’t have full access to it? What you need to be looking for out of your bingo promotions is the money that comes without strings attached.

So what are these bingo promotions that come without the so-called “conditions”. Some online bingo halls are giving out as much as $50 of free money with your deposit. Generally, they will credit your account with a percentage of what you deposit. In some cases, they will give you a flat rate depending upon what level of play you are going to choose. These bingo promotions are good because they can really power your bankroll from the very beginning. They can get you headed in the right direction before you ever get started.

Another one of the great bingo promotions that I have seen advertised online is the referral bonus. If you have friends who are looking to get involved in bingo, why don’t you lead them to your site and collect a bonus for their deposit? This is a good way to get some extra coin in your account and give yourself a boost during the hard bingo times. The cool thing about these bingo promotions is that they generally come without any strings attached, so you don’t have to worry about play requirements in order to cash them out when you make a big win.

My absolute favourite online bingo website are at it again – pipping everyone else to the post with their fantastic bingo promotions – how do they do it?

At Bingostreet we have a theory, you’re only allowed to work at Wink Bingo if you’re a fun loving bingo mad genius – I’m sure it’s pretty close to the truth. Who would have thought that you could actually win a brand new Mini Cooper just by playing the bingo games on offer at Wink Bingo!

Well it’s absolutely true! And there’s more than one way to get into the absolutely massive bingo game that’ll be playing on New Year’s Day at 7pm – where the HUGE PRIZE is the BRAND NEW MINI COOPER!

The best way is to play bingo games at Wink Bingo, as many as you can, throughout December to build up your bingo points. Not only do you get the chance to win fabulous prizes and cash jackpots along the way in their Advent Calender bingo promotion special, but you can also play their regular bingo games or instant win games such as slots, casino games or even scratchcards! And don’t forget the tons of other special bingo games including the Risk Free Frisky Friday games – free bingo games where you get your money refunded if you don’t win the jackpot!

You’ll build up your points every time you play bingo games, or the other games too, and once you’ve got 500 points you can exchange for a Free Ticket to the HUGE BINGO GAME on New Year’s Day. So play bingo like there’s no tomorrow and get as many free bingo tickets as you can for the massive bingo game on Jan 1st.

Alternatively you could take the easy way and simply pre-purchase bingo tickets for the big game. You can do this anytime from the Wink Bingo lobby. Tickets cost £10 a go, it’s a wee bit more than their regular bingo games, but on the other hand – every ticket you buy gets you another shot at the fantabulous Mini Cooper!

There’s also quite a few other ways to build up your points in December, just check the Wink Bingo website for full details. And if you do happen to be the super lucky bingo player who wins this fantastic prize, you’ll be the guest of honour on Bingostreet in January!

What a way to kick off the New Year! Play at Wink Bingo and GL!!!!!!!

Written by John Witherspoon for BingoStreet.com – your top resource for online bingo UK bringing you the very best bingo promotions.

It is fun to look at good online bingo players and talk about what they do right. What is even more fun is looking at bad online bingo players and watching what they do wrong. This is one of the quickest ways to get really good at the game. If you learn from the mistakes of those players who just don’t seem to get it, you can ultimately succeed at playing the game. So what are the mistakes of bad online bingo players? Here are a few of them.

Bad online bingo players typically miss on even the most basic rules. Maybe they don’t know how to fill out their cards or they don’t know what each game means. When you don’t have a basic handle on the most elementary rules, you really don’t have a chance to win. Bingo games are highly predicated on luck. Because of that, you just have to be fortunate to win sometimes. The one way to take yourself out of the game is to not know what you are doing, though. The worst online bingo players to play with are those people who just don’t get the rules. Make sure you aren’t one of them.

Bad online bingo players often don’t pay enough attention. They busy doing something else, like writing a paper or talking to their friends, or downloading music or looking at videos online. These bingo players aren’t putting forth nearly enough focus to be successful. They are struggling to get by and they just can’t seem to get it through their head that it takes a huge amount of focus to win at bingo. The awful thing about mistakes like these is that they can be easily prevented. These people could, if they wanted to, play bingo online and win. They just don’t make the necessary moves to get that done and it’s truly sad.

Don’t be like these bad bingo online players. It is a game that can be fun if you are winning. Even if you aren’t fortunate enough to be winning, the game is so much more fun for people who really know what they are doing. Those that don’t are just there for us to laugh at. They are sad cases who often don’t understand why they are throwing their money down the drain, while we all realise that they are making mistakes.

Written by John Witherspoon for BingoStreet.com – the number one resource for online bingo UK bringing you the very best in bingo games.

One of the really neat things about bingo that sets it apart from some of the other games is the interactive nature of the game. Whether you are playing bingo online or you are playing down the local bingo hall, the interactive aspect remains the same. It is really the thing that makes it a much more entertaining game than some that you might play in a casino. So what things go into making that interactive experience a cool one? Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that there are some really cool bingo traditions that you can participate in.

Bingo has always been known for its little quirky things. At the top of that list are the crazy bingo call numbers that have popped up over the years. Just calling the numbers as they come up has never been enough for bingo fans. The early days of bingo are characterised by a measure of creativity which gives the game a personality that cannot be matched by any of the other games out there. This means that you can have a lot of fun just listening to some of the ball call names, which might seem ridiculous, but they all made sense back in the old days.

The bingo call names were developed during another era when the only bingo games that were available were at the local bingo halls. Because of this, individuals often came up with things that were easy to remember for people of days past. This means that for today’s players, a little update into the future is essential. In fact, you might have to get out a dictionary and do some research if you want to understand why some of the old call numbers were as popular as they were. A cool thing about bingo games is that they are timeless. Whereas some of the call names are so far gone into the past that nobody can retrieve them, others are quite easy to understand even for today’s players.

Some people might argue that bingo call numbers are somewhat silly and that they are really superfluous to the game. These people are missing the real beauty of bingo, though. It succeeds where other games fail because it is different. It provides a player with something that is interactive and something that is so unique. It is a game that players really feel they are a part of and this is a huge part of the draw of the popular game of bingo, and online bingo.

Written by John Witherspoon for Bingostreet.com -  the number one resource in the UK for online bingo bringing you the best bingo promotions.

One of the best online bingo tips that I can give out to players is something that each and every player can do without much problem at all. The cool thing about bingo is that it is really easy to play. Some people believe that the game has gained such popularity because of the fact that it’s an “everyman” type of game. You don’t have to have any sort of special skill in order to really succeed. In that case, what online bingo tips can really help you? There are a couple of things that you should do before you start playing online bingo games.

Most of the best online bingo tips revolve around picking a good site and then picking the right bingo room. Bingo rooms differ quite a lot so it figures that you won’t get the same result from each online bingo room you select. The key is in making sure that you choose the right one in the first place. So what does a good bingo room look like? First and foremost, you need to make sure that it is not too crowded. If you go to a bingo room that has the right amount of people, you are setting yourself up for success. This is what online bingo tips are intended to do. They should put you in a position where you can be successful.

What happens if you play bingo in rooms that are too crowded? You will find out very quickly that the more people, the worse your chances are of coming away with a solid win. You will just be going up against way too many cards in those instances. You want to eliminate the competition and the easiest way to do this is to go somewhere that people aren’t jockeying for position against you. Of all of the online bingo tips that I can give, this is probably the one that will be easiest for you to use.

If you are looking for online bingo tips that will make you an instant winner, you will have a hard time finding them. The truth of the matter is that there is not too much you can do to make the game come to you. You just have to be lucky. These online bingo tips will set you up for success, though, and that is really all you can ask for. From there, you just have to hope that you get the right luck in your favour.

Written by John Witherspoon for BingoStreet.com – the number one resource for online bingo UK bringing you the best bingo promotions.

Half the fun of online bingo is being part of the community and chatting with fellow b-i-n-g-o fanatics.

Online bingo chat rooms are controlled areas, because it’s a safe space for folks from all around the globe to chat, come together, and be entertained by each other and the current Chat master on duty. In this virtual bingo environment, you won’t have any vocal input but will have a general Chat window at your finger tips.  Be sure to make yourself heard with the comments you type in this window.

If you have always despised people writing abbreviations like LOL in emails and texts, brace yourself…  Bingo is a fast-paced game, especially if you choose the Speed bingo games on offer, and you won’t have time to type in any long drawn out conversations or Shakespearian prose.  Therefore you will have to learn to speak Bingo Lingo if you want to keep up with the rest of the players.

Don’t despair though; it can be quite easy to learn Bingolese.  If you already enjoy chatting in chat rooms, you should know most of the terms.  If you are unfamiliar with chat room lingo, you will find a myriad of abbreviations to cover almost every aspect of the conversation, and it’s very useful if you plan to get a word in edge ways.

Bingo Lingo – some popular terms:

* 10x – Thanks
* 2U2 – To you too
* ?4U – Question for you
* AFK – Away from keyboard
* A/S/L – Age/Sex/Location
* AKA – Also known as
* ASAP – As soon as possible
* BBL – Be back later
* B4 – Before
* B4N – Bye for now
* BLNT – Better Luck Next Time
* BRB – Be Right Back
* CM Chat – Moderator/Master
* CUL8R – See you later
* CYA – See ya
* DIY – Do it yourself
* EOD – End of discussion
* FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions
* FYI – For your information
* GG – Good Going
* GL – Good Luck
* GR8 – Great
* IC – I see
* IMO – In My Opinion
* L8R – Later
* L8RG8R – Later gaiter
* LOL – Laughing Out Loud
* PLZ – Please
* PM – Private Message
* PPL – People
* QT – Cute
* SD – Sweet Dreams
* TC – Take Care
* TX – Thanx
* TY – Thank You
* TYU2 – Thank You & you too
* WB – Welcome Back
* WTG – Way to go
* YW – You’re Welcome
* 1tg, 2tg, 3tg etc – one/two/three numbers left to bingo
* Y – Why?

Get to know some of these terms and practise chatting while you play bingo online, and soon you’ll become an expert in Bingo Lingo – GL!

Written by John Witherspoon for BingoStreet.com – the top online bingo UK resource bringing you the latest and greatest bingo promotions.

There are a lot of hints and strategies for playing bingo online and you’ll find a lot of useless information too. However there is more than just simple luck to playing bingo games successfully. There are certain things to look out for that will make it easier to win. One of these ways to improve your winning odds when you play bingo online is the strategic squares system.

Strategic squares works best with 75 ball bingo. Although 90 ball bingo is more popular in the UK, strategic squares cannot be applied to this version of the bingo game.

A 75 ball bingo card has 25 squares, with 24 numbers surrounding a blank square (or free space) in the centre of the bingo card. There is no number assigned to this square, and it’s the first space to be marked on the card. It can be used for the pattern, lines, or other win style.

It is harder for someone to get a bingo when they are using a line deviation from the centre because they have to get five numbers. With the strategic squares online bingo hints you only need four numbers to be called in order to win, with the free space automatically included.

Of course it can take a couple of rounds before you get the four numbers, but the odds are better that you will obtain the numbers you need by using the free space.  In strategic squares it is thought that there are 16 very helpful squares.  These squares are found in the B, N, and O columns.  The I and G columns are usually considered the least helpful.

Unfortunately even these online bingo hints for using the free space can fall short.  You still need the right numbers to be drawn from the hopper.  It is still a random chance that the four numbers you need to win will be drawn in time for you to win.  The probabilities calculated in this strategy seem more inclined to favour the 16 sqaures surrounding the free space though.

Since the win is the reward for playing bingo you still need to make sure that you mark all the numbers on the card in an attempt to win the game.  It is harder with a certain pattern like a number, but strategic squares can help you increase your success rate when you play bingo online.

Written by John Witherspoon for BingoStreet.com – the top resource for online bingo UK bringing you the best bingo promotions.